for the record i'm trying to stop using upper case letters. anyway so
i'm getting some of my halloween corpse-s? out of my kia sedona, minivans
are the shit! also my door handles on the sliders of my cool minivan are
constructed of a high tech plastic that can withstand at least two years
before they break, yes plastic does break, weird. so you kinda need to open
the doors from the inside and close from the outside. well my hands are full
of bodies and i'll be damned if i cant do all this without putting them down
and i do what any sane person would do i close the door from the outside. well i misjudged
when i should have moved my hand and ended up getting my finger, my middle finger
stuck in the door, the now closed door. in case you were wondering this hurts
actually more than a little further to the side of alot. did i mention its night time?
about 8pm. so since my plastic door handles no longer exist on my kia sedona i can't
remove my middle finger from the sliding door. good news my wife and kids are home.
bad news after screaming my wifes name for several minutes i realize she cant hear me, what with the 12 foot thick glass i have for windows,no problem i have neighbors unfortunatly they must not hear me or really hate me.
either one is possible. 20-30 minutes later several more pleads for someone to help
and finally one of my neighbors comes home. i've never met this man before but already
i like him. problem he cant seem to open my door after a few failed attempts i tell him,
i say russell, we are close enough at this point in the story where i feel close enough to call him russell even though i think his name is phil i say russel please get my wife
tell her i need a flat bar so i can free myself from my korean minivan. well finally after several more minutes i have the flat bar and after prying the door, i am a trained firefighter dont try this without years of experience, i am free. my wife after seeing my smooshed, that is a medical term btw, digit nearly passes out and my new friend russell/phil goes home. so i drove myself to the hospital hung out in the er for about 20 minutes. after seeing loads of sickies coughing and puking next to me i figured i'd take my chances at home where i may lose my finger but at least i wont get the flu. i still have my finger and happy to report no flu however the nail is looking more and more purple by the day....crap.